FROM THE BIG CHAIR V AND FINE
Now I have told you that I am about to get published. If anything should happen to me during the oncoming days then you shall know why. It is not a joking around kind of thing. It is a serious endeavour to get published these days without even a supervisor’s name on your paper, especially when you only have a MEng formally. But it is so and so it shall. I want you to know that it is a pleasure to tell you these things as I begin to make my corrections and adhere to the rule of the two peer reviewers who have given me some limited instruction upon how to go about it and I shall be there for the rent and the shout of triumph as I hope you will be too. It is not going to be easy to be the one who does it in the face of all the antagonism but it is going to be me and there it is. It is going to spark in the press too I believe when they find out how long it has taken to get these things off my hands. Now I want you to know that all my software is corrupted and I think I know why – it is all a part of a plan laid out by a Ms Jo Brand and I shall see to it that she is vilified in the press for all to see if that is the case – she has put me through hell and I shall see to it that she gets a face full of mud before long if it is true.
Then and only then shall I celebrate and that shall be good for she has ruined a good decade of my life with her fun and I want her to die for it – not literally but I want her career to smash into smithereens as she did to me with the help of her women friends named Sheila and Syd. Now I know Syd but I do not know Sheila and I shall see to it that I get her too.
Next bout shall be about the requiem mass I must conduct for my father who is of course the great Alan P Saunders once of Clovelly Rd Greenside and now of heaven. Bless. Yours sincerely, Bruce Edward Saunders (the one with all the likes on Facebook)