TOUGH!

Part I

There once was a day when everything was long.  Long in the tooth, long in the face, longing in the look.  Now that sort of day meant everything to me/him, since it began without a glimmer of hope but procured a modicum of solace from the fact that it did not hesitate to be a friend to those who want to be “it”!  For it was a game for children, this game of chasing one’s tail in order to make it for the years to come instead of settling down to an even place where nothing seems easy yet everything seems hard until one day you realise that nothing was possible in the first place therefore everything has to be in a new phase/place without there being need to be heartsore about everyone else.  There cannot be a new way without there being an old one so there be a new way such that nothing come without forgiveness.  This isn’t the first time he had thought so but nonetheless there is nothing with which to perceive the eventual laughter such that everything/nothing can be seen to a person except their lifestyle which is perchance only just coming together for him/me.  Therefore let’s take a look at his past-times from here until the present and see which of the 2 meet without there being some form of gentrification such that nothing has ever stopped them from trying.

{This isn’t going to be easy: some of which took place many ages ago and some of them tantamount to blasphemy upon the course of man due to the innate nature of it all. [The Altar Best – c.f. this book]}

Once in a blue moon there comes apparent a new cause vestial that runders the planet uneffectual to withstand nothing to do with this and that dear Planet makes us all unevocal to be sworn alliance to.  There isn’t even the time to make easy the preparations to be unsworn as these lead to the being of aforethought and this makes believe that nothing is unforsworn except perhaps dogma itself.  This isn’t even the belief that time isn’t unusual so this had better be the unique set therefore nothing is ever going to be easy unless we do it so:

There isn’t a path that isn’t a stereo without there being a single discipline that isn’t even going to be aware.  So get this:  nothing is heir-apparent unless it needs to be.

This isn’t an anamoly or an anomaly, this is the beginning so get with it!  This isn’t an actorism nor a nactorism so just get down and boogie!  This isn’t a contusion nor a contusioni so just agree that this is different.  This isn’t funtime it isn’t groove just fun-da-mental and augmentacious to the Extreme Mean.  Just live for it and forget.  For further there ain’t no time to disco, just to party and nothing can forsake this mess like the future.

Great!  So life is like a party, but not so evil into the take, make it stand but do not grovel, hovel into the night but do not fight night, just stop and deliver but do not forgive, sieve and grieve in the leave to be som in the bomb and hom in the nomb to be frit like a twit in the sum of the bumchum and see what can be skyfed from the byf in the tyf so skyf lekker my mate and skryf!

Summer is not what we call Cool so be dual and tra and give us a kans om to lekker to wees maar beskikbaar.  Om trots to wens geluk vir daardie ou wat beskerm trots hy hairstyle soos a boemelares met teen die wind se naar.  Sien tot in die wind assebleft nogal maar daardie is ouens was ouer is as wat jonker is nog so, wat?  Wat beskikkel  jy?  Dis maar slog nie vog nie dusselt to dieselfde nog as wat aan die weer is, net so skattie?  Daarom is nie te slegt nie?

Orraait!  Nal sal ons skom, net so?

This isn’t the time or the place for explanations, but the above comes direct from the mouth of my Great Aunt Mathilda Lewis, who used to be my favourite before, err eh-hum, she “gave birth” to an almighty birthmark that covered the legs, arms, nose and cheeks because she developed chilblains which gave rise to an enormous lump on her cheek and a huge swelling down under which she referred to has her “afterbirth” so to speak, ne Tannie? Or Jevrou? Or whatever taal you speak, ne?

Nou then, as ek maar vra dan wil ek sien nouvra Mattel, my seun?  Se sy maar eks dikwils nie onbekonnend hierondom en ek wens dat ek beskikkelbaar was maar nooit, ek meen nooit, sal ek onbeskommerd wees want aantyfel is dit soms nie so baie lekker nie om snaaks to wees nie.  Hoe se jy, Mattel?

Hokay, dis nie so snaaks nie, maar waar vra jy?  antwoord Mattel, skers bekommerd maar baie onbeskommerd.  Ek wil weet maar ek kan nie skiert jy wiet wants nie so onbekommerd met bedommerd en nie so skommerd met bedommerd, sien Nooi?

Dis nie omtreklik om so te wees maar beskibaar om noah te wees en so on…Nou/Now that isn’t the first time I have ever heard her sing like that but it could be the last, for her eintafel or yellow belly as she also likes to call it, is coming to an and, what with her new shoes or veldskoen and her end-of-call or Mother Nature, pretending to be false, has given her hopes of yet having twins, at her age Mister! – Please!

Iffn it helps then you should know that not all things come to an end so to speak.  Some things so and some things don’t but not all so listen to me and say (this is verbatim) Question not the author since this is all he can recall)

“What do you think is going to become of Mam, question!”

Answer.  What does one do with such a quotation strange though it may seem question.  Therefore what do one do without knowing question.  It would seem that there is remarkably few who dare understand who dare answer and say do you know what is question?

Say what question?  It doesn’t matter Mattel since noah is not to a goin to see this not in its entirety, either Mon, and so not need be a two finger tome but a feather stone man without need so better the devil you know that you don’t you might be sayin but this ain’t forgiven but forgiveness and anyway there might be a better way that’s all. [Accent for author’s benefit – to be corrected]

Iffn jy sien n word of skaplik iets wil ken dan moet jy seer of stuur maar nooit bestuur omdat dit kry of sky maar tjeks betaal in staal jy wee ten hulle sal nooit of skooit maar tiks dos skooit of nooit jy wiet of skiet bekende jong man dis al en betaal en skaal.

Then this mus be the en an no the twoof of scoof not bof of stof totdat ek n nog of dog mof soen to da di no t mo t da moe wees dan sal ek wil n sil of nil wil soen en Nooi sal nooit to vrede wees met my skalk of talc compleksities. Se Nooi, wat se dat dis n ander klaar sal wees en nie t more moet se nie afgeskakel dus n nuwe taal aan en soms moet n nuut een wens of skou ja question.

O no dis maar sjok elade maar dis mooi t skerm nie t sien of mean maar dis dikwels skerm om so te merm nie t sien mooi ne maar dis of t move en nie t groove mos skerm soos n grav met slav n nooi te gram ofskam met die watharm of karm maar wiet te skel of dwel ja so meneer question.  Ek het n groot problem om te sien en nie te bling en sing maar dis ooi te vol en dwol en nie te bol of skol maar altyd mol en sol of grol maar nie te skrol of dol nie nie te skerm of berm maar alles altyd te merm en beskerm en term en merm nie ques-tion nie.

Sien? Dis nie bevel of cool dis swaar en bedaar om so n onnosel te wees.  Dis nie bekommerd nie om so n twyfel te sien en nie bewaar of beklaar to wies en stuks and stones sal my nie harm nie.  Dis nie so n twyfel om beskommerd to wees wank dis nie opskop nie dis n groot bedrywel en betyfel om so lank in een tevrede nooi te wees en te nie nooit te groot te wees vir haar ne Jevrou of beskou as jy wil weet nie question nie maar vraag…..

Part ii

Nooi ek sal nie beskerm (jy) as jy dit wil.  Hoe bekommerd is jy daarvoor?

Hodon Son! Eks nie life vir julle nie els waarom sale k jou vry?  Daars iets daaroor vir my wat nogtans nooit sal believer nie.  Soms is daar nog n taal in my kop wat skielik oorsoms my soos jy dikwels onthou, soos bladsy uit my pen, jy week!?

Daarso!  Waarom?  Pee jy altyd soms ooruit die shnickel van die hoor!?

Ja Missie! Dis altyd so maar jy dik daarom altyd soms voor die lepel en nooit voor die pens hoor?  Ja dis diikwels skoon maar nie te waar dis skaar en onbewaar maar nie te skillend to onbeskillend jus nooit beskaarbaar en nooit beswaar jy weet en nogtans nooi dis nooi beswaar en eentans bevokken waar maar nie nou nie jy weet question.

Daarsy dis nie n bekommerd nie maar n komkommer wat biskikbaar is net so nooi wat jy vry soos n kat in n kombuis of so en daarnou een te vreedenis om skaar met die klaar te woon soos opie plaas van die Driehoek se plek waar daar nooit geen daarso is nieen so voort question.  Aanskakel tussen in en beweet dis nie so sleg nie opie land se vol maar nogtans is daar geen plek soos die woonplek van ons nie

[Life isn’t so good today so – Dr Aslam will be a pick not a stick a loaf not goaf so into the steed with mead if you see what I mean.  A mean stirrup not a hirrup a mean glen not a steamed pen if you know it’s so so be steel and meal don’t gleal it’s teal not speel or leal it’s meal and peel in the leal of the gleal.  i.e. don’t fuck up with the doctor take your notes but only if he asks should you show.  Just go with the flow and get out of here fast.]

Nooit in die stew dis maar ooit van te voort dis nie beskikkelbaar maar altyd besef dat iets nie verjaars wees as dit ooit sal betaal word want ooit is vanoffend maar ieks word beskaar.  Dis nie so heuwel om te spaar maar ooit dit tevore om my roemp te snorkel en wekkelend te troep maar sy’s nie n haar by de daar of bekaar my so.  Dis nie so swaar as wat ek skaar en dis n beroep van my vanoggend by bly so dis net so onbeskokkend en taalig diet en nie so plankrik of nofstof by sy moe en toue by sy mor vir kor en bor.  Nou, wat vanoggend in die moggend en betrou van beskou so verliewer met betriever en verskou met smou en veroempt met betroempt en veroempt met gestroompt en gestroompt met beroompt en beroompt met getroompt wees ke. Questioni?  Hokay nou wat van diesel met dirompt en alkal mos gevever word en narand moes betaal vir my sy. question.

En lankal wat voor die tyd wat bekeur met getroud en gemot met betroud wat skeer my ny maar die voortsel van di grond wat die mond sal opvond en die vond sal ondmond en die mond sal geesmond met gesinne van gisteraand delewer met gelewer. questioni

Wat sy is die gewaar vandie. Question “nogtan sal hy by die wereld kom gister by today se nuffel se tombstone.  Nee dis waar my waar my waar maar nie tevore nie.”

[Means life isn’t fucking fan!  Which means life isn’t made for fans, it’s made for fucking losers! i.e. All the fucking events watching winning fucking sportsmen and women, the crowd control etc is for fucking losers not enjoying life but sitting on their arses for hours at a time and thinking about it and talking about it and it’s all a tv spectacle.]

Copyright B E Saunders 2016